Awkwardness created by drama

Today, I have found lots of amazing queer blogs from this website

http://www.autostraddle.com/ten-queer-blogs-you-should-be-reading-41806/ ...although it is really 8.

Two of the posts got me thinking. At first they do not really appear to be linked. 

The first one was

http://queerfatfemme.com/2009/10/13/nobody-ever-died-of-awkward-the-queer-fat-femme-guide-

to-battling-insecurity-and-asking-people-out/

and the second one is

http://effingdykes.blogspot.com/2011/05/stage-fright.html

The first one is a great upbeat piece about asking people out, and exciting things like going on dates. I guess the message behind it is 1) you may as well ask people out because “nobody ever died of awkward” i.e. it is not that big a deal if they say no and 2) to be confident doing it. The second one is about how people create unnecessary amounts of drama in their life, i.e. blow things out of proportion and emotionally make their lives more complicated than they need to be.

The line “Nobody ever died of awkward” is quite a catchy one and if followed, probably means that you will have more opportunities in life as you will go for what you want even if it may involve rejection. So...why do people tend not to do this? I guess the first reason is fear of rejection and the awkward moment whereby the other person may possibly turn you down. These issues should be fleeting and not a problem in the long term....if it were not for some of the issues touched upon in the second blog, which revolves around DRAMA; although bitchiness and gossip also come into play.

So here’s the scenario. You fancy someone...And you kind of know them....or your friends or acquaintances know them. This is obviously going to be the case, as if nobody else knows this person then how did you meet them? Normally if I fancy someone, if they don’t see me in the same way I would still like to be friends with them. So when asking them out, creating a situation where things are NOT awkward is quite important. I don’t want this awkwardness to linger and affect the friendship. This brings me onto the issue of DRAMA, bitchiness and gossiping. I feel part of this drama is from the person doing the asking out blowing out of proportion the effects of rejection. In all reality, it probably won’t be that bad. The other person will be flattered, and say no. BUT

1)    
The person doing the asking then may feel awkward around the person because they think that they have made the other person awkward...which will cause tension in the friendship

2)      
OR the person being asked may feel bad because they have turned someone down. Or they feel like if they stay friends with this person they will be leading them on or that this person will still have feelings for them and so it will be awkward.

(Why do people care if someone they don’t fancy fancies them?)

Are the two possibilities above even really that likely? I find that the most common cause of awkwardness is THINKING something is going to be awkward. I would not advise doing something (well actually I would not advise anything at all, as there is the possibility that I could be really really wrong) without thinking about the risks and consequences of actions. But it is important to distinguish between real and perceived risks, and to accurately judge how likely doing this action will lead to a negative impact in the long term (ie. Longer than a week).

If anyone has any thoughts on the matter..or why the above is flawed, please comment below.